I Surrender..........

I give up!!!!!

After struggling with sleep for two hours or so, I can’t fight anymore. I don’t want to even try to sleep now.I give up.....Now-a-days sleep don't come to me easily.Just take me, because I give up.

You win, I lose.I am guilty. Punish me.
I am guilty of loving you. I am guilty of fighting it. I am guilty of suppressing.

I miss you... terribly.

It's tough to live with this feeling....and itz getting tougher day by day....hour by hour....moment by moment.


Words ache.....my fingers tremble and my mind is befuddled. Please put some sense into me...plz god!!!!

I keep on falling for the glitters in search of the gold. No matter how much I deny it, the truth is that you are the gold. This gold is right in front of me yet it is so far away. I can feel you; I cannot touch you....cannot hold you..... cannot embrace you..........and i cannot stop myself loving you.… and I don’t want to fight it anymore.I give up.

I look up to you for answers... for you have all the answers. You always had my answers. Iam asking you....Why me!!! why????


Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can pierce you; hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness,turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love....but....but i cannot stop loving you.....

About The Author

Iam a Lifestyle Photographer, SEO Consultant and Database expert.I studied Biological Engineering at Amity University.I grew up in India,Can't mention a single area here.. My family was like a japanese bagpacker. Roamed to many indian cities.I have several ideas of what I might do with myself in this lifeworld. Although I feel very much a part of this world, I spend a lot of time questioning it. That's the social scientist in me.People say i am full of attitude and i think that's good.I'm idealistic and maybe naive, but at this point in time I can't imagine living any other way.I have two business ventures- XpressoStill and OptSEO.Xpressostill is a lifestyle photography venture which i started in early 2010.Currently it has two portfolios for wedding photography and travel photography.OptSEO is a new idea, atleast for me. OptSEO is about managing e ventures. My main objective is to try to create,develop and execute a cost effective program to maximize the communication between enterprises and their customers and generate high quality sales inquiries. And if that is not enough..Iam also training to become a pro deep-sea diver. You Can write to me at rakesh.mahato@live.com

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